Monday Moaning Gentle Fear
Monday Moaning is here again and I need to start with saying life never does what you expect of it. Just to show no matter how much we like to be in control and make plans, it never goes as we want it to be.
It is a simple start in this late post and it will come expand into something else. In my case yesterday and today things got scrambled enough for me to change everything. Not that I am afraid to change or for change as it just asks you to be flexible. It is a challenge to adapt to whatever is thrown your way.
Today was no different and here I am writing a new post that soon enough can be read by you.
As many of you might no from me I often use a title for my Monday Moaning with two contradicting words. Gentle and fear are the topic for today. True enough it might be something or for sure is something I addressed before.
We are afraid of many things. Small things big things. Sometimes even just a word.
That fear most the time is being ignored or hidden under a crust of friendliness and kindness. Somewhere behind a smile are the tears and trembles forcefully being put in a dark corner or held back in shame. How natural is it for us to react that way when we feel watched or judged and how did we become this way?
What makes us look the other way? What has become of us?
In this post I like to see what made us become like this. Even see if there is a way to change. And I can tell you right now it is a way of thinking. A personal view on life and what one might find normal.
Starting with a bold statement: we are made to be afraid.
Perseverance. You might know the word.
It is one of those things that is been taught when you are still young. To overcome your fear. Or stand up to what scares you. Never give up.
Life is hard so we need to keep on fighting. But why? It is not my doing and not life’s doing either. It is usually another person making your life a hell.
Does it not make one wonder why we need to stand up to a bully? Add another lock on our door? Does one need to be afraid when walking home alone?
This is what I am meant to say Gentle fear. It is the gentle how are told to be afraid and become assertive as well. The weak need to protect themselves and toughen up to overcome their fears.
I like to think it should be the other way around.
As a woman one should not be afraid to walk home alone. A person should simply keep their hands to themselves. Same as kid that needs to be more assertive and say ‘No’ Once in a while to a bully. Why does he need to learn to be more hardened and the bully not more respectful. It is stupid to think we need to toughen up and be more persistent because we can’t seem to learn to be more gentle.
How crazy is it that we can’t learn to cease being disrespectful to another person or their property.
Neither you or me like to be assaulted. Yet it seems to be easier to learn how to defend other than have more respect.
It should be the other way around.
Children learn to say no, while bully does not learn to be more gentle.
Women need to hide their bodies, because men can’t learn to keep it in their damn pants.
This does give some insight that it is man made world with man made rules.
All this indicates that we have been doing it wrong. We should not harden ourselves because of society or life being tough. Society should just soften down a bit and start respecting us as they like to be respected.
Whether it is the flesh or the properties. I should not hide behind 10 locks I should have a door open so I could meet people and not worry to be stolen from.
Do we need to protect ourselves when a moral understanding teaches us not to even attack someone, for whatever reason.
To call the world unequal is just a way to say you agree with how the world is divided. That it is normal we have a set distance between rich and poor. Can we truly agree to that kind of differences.
Is it true we should live by the rule; an eye for an eye. And no, I do not believe in turning the other cheek, either. There shouldn’t be any slapping in the first place.
It might be a dream that we never will achieve. Not in my lifetime anyway.
Have we become so overprotective we already assume the worst out of ourselves and others. Do we teach to protect and defend because we know we can’t be gentle. Toughen up or become a victim. What kind of reasoning is that.
By that time we comfort the victims while they should have been comfortably living without fear in the first place.
This is not about giving up being assertive, protective, tough or persistent. This is about trying not to be afraid anymore. To soften up so that you do not have to be afraid any more. SO that you can breath calmly and know nothing is going to happen.
I should not project my fear on those around me so that they feel the need to toughen up.
How much does it take to change our ways and can we do it? Or do we keep on hardening the world even further, teaching to fear more and more?
Somewhere we took a wrong turn. We might have made rules based on a natural rule that in this day and age is no longer needed. Do we need the strong in en equal world. Are we afraid of a world where we are all equals? Can we create a future where our children do not need to fear others.
Just another rant by a silly crow.