Heart ship! The quest for forbidden love.
The drifting seem endless. And another day wasted on the treacherous water of this planet. I need to get to her, it has been days if not a week, since I left port and gone on this run. Days without a single message form her. I am tearing my hairs out in spite of taken the job. Been awake to long now to even think straight. I should be sleeping, but the thoughts keep me awake. worries. Would she still want me? Will she still be there waiting. Is she keeping a candle burning as a beacon in her window. Should I even be asking these questions.
I am feeling lost here out on the open sea. Since the day I had to leave her behind with that man. Made to feed his pet and do as he pleases. A slave to a tyrant, who ran his home as he ran his own kitchen. Not at his house, but at the army or something similar. He is a lazy ass lying around and drinking.
Fighting a soldier. What am I thinking, I am not the fighter anymore I once was. I do not want to go back to… my head is splitting apart with all those thoughts and memories mixing and creating a storm basking my inner skull. Why can it not ease down so I to can rest. Why do I sit here at my desk looking at a piece of paper. Do I want to be writing a letter I cannot send. Already have one didn’t I. Out of the window I can see a calm flat of water, with in the distance land. The one with the wrong light house. It looks like it is being left behind. The tranquil sights, like a piece of art brushed in water paint blur as tears fill my eyes.
Maybe this is the break I needed. To over think my journey and its goal. Let the ink write with strokes of the wrist bleeding from the tip of the pen. Write down the reason or story of this journey and empty my thoughts on this paper for later references. I dry my tears as I think of the hold up during the inspection or the beautiful scenery of that tiny bay. And also the days met her.
From smiling to feeling crap in a day over a piece of paper and a story. I truly must be loosing my mind here at sea. As the rocking of the boat increases so does my spirit. And I stick my head out to see from where the wind is blowing. Just about right, to have my sails speed up my cracking and creaking ‘Yellow rose’ and turn the bough towards my destination. As ink still spills over the words I written before. One can only read, ‘her smile below blu…’. The rest is taken by a blob of black.
A promise to the gods and mystiques of the oceans and the skies. Today is my last day at sea.
Writing this makes me smile, for I know I thought and said it. Now I know I couldn’t have been more wrong.
The 19th instalment of ‘Heart Ship’. May it have been to your liking when you read this entry. Earlier entries can be found in my crows nest. Found in the menu on the left. Happy reading.