Truancy of responsiblity

Now yesterday I said things about bullying and about the involvement of parents in the matter and or how to implement that. Now today there is more. Where do we put responsibility when it comes to our children. Do we not put to much stress on the children themselves.

News today is that truancy among children doubled. They skipping school more and more and now parents need o take responsibility. But can we go back to how it was 40 years ago? And what about the children?

We understand that as parents we need to pick up the responsibility fro our children and teach them what is right or wrong. Same would go for truant children. Or the ones who ditch school. But how can one involve parents when they are not home, what can a parent do in a situation where they are forced to work early morning to late at night.

I am one of those lucky older generations where a parent was home most the time. At least one of them, most the time it was the mum, which was considered normal. Now a mum as to work after giving birth. She is made by our government. Now I think it has something to do with everything getting more expensive an the government wanting to safe money. There are however moments you ask why you are working.

In beginning daycares was paid half, now it is not. Yes we was lucky at some point now she is working full throttle to pay for the daycare. Maybe just stay home again.
Children getting older and need to go to school. As a parent you try to give them all they need and dress them in a way so they won’t get bullied, you try. Now even more you are pushed to start working again. Having less time for you children and keeping an eye on them.

How, where can working parents find hat little time to see if there child is not skipping school around noon. Only way of knowing is when school calls you or when the special forces pick him/her of the street. Yes we have special ditch police 😛 lol.

Schools want more involvement from parents, while parents are being forced to work all day. Government want them to take action and take responsibility for their children and at the same time punishes them when they do stay home and take responsibility.

How was that done in old days. Mum stay at home working hard from dusk till dawn. Unpaid but children were happier then they are now. Dad working late hours for the bread on your plate. But he was still there to talk if needed be. Mum with her cup of tea from school.
And now hey get punished for doing exactly that. Being there for their children.

Why does parent need to work for daycare. Might as well stay home. And oh for the smart people. Grandma is not an option, she is after not qualified for the job of babysitter since she does not have a piece of paper. Yes ladies you reading it right Nanna needs a diploma. Apparently bringing up her 3 sisters and2 children did not give her enough experience. Yes welcome to a forest of rules where mum has to cut trees we need standing up.

So back to the truant children. Where, how did we get to the point that we put all responsibilities on to schools and government (still happening) and now we need to take it back (good thing though). But it takes change in rules and the law as it is now. Or else it cannot be done. I am sure there are parents who want to take back responsibility and know this isn’t working.

We lost sight of what was right a long time ago. Thinking we made things better. It only caused a shift in the way we bring up our children to adulthood. We want them to be self conscious and standing on their own two feet way to soon. A 7 year old child should no have to worry about exams yet. Or how they have to be on their own.
I find it child abuse. But just staying home as said above will just have other problems. The laws are unfair when it comes to the child. The child of the future. They are not plants. We cannot grow them with just watering them.

Just venting again. I am worried about what we ask of our children. I sometimes think we put to much pressure and responsibility on them

Best Wishes
Ranting Crow

Bullying Values!

Bullying Values, a title that makes you wonder and think. Do we bully values or have values for bullying.

Now more and more we hear of bullying but why is it so exponentially growing. What could be the cause that more people, children are being bullied. And what can be done to prevent it from happening. Is it something we can prevent.

It obviously start at home with teaching children values. But the norm for normal is different in every household, how can we teach a child any value if it differs so much. There is more to teach them but how can we if we have been taught the same difference in values.

Do parents know values of normal

Bullying is done for differences in poor or rich, or what your child wears, or how they look in general. But who says what is normal and what is not. Who says that being different is weird and should be teased. Now we parents tent to shove lots of that responsibility to the schools. They are after all the institute that teaches everything. All the way up to sex education even, on some schools. But is that right.

Now more schools say tat parents should help more fight of bullying. But the big question than is how. I been brought up to stand up for myself. Not take bullshit from any one. And bullies are just afraid. I turned out to be bullying as well at some point, for what reason I cannot even remember. But okay parents should help out more.

Speak to the one being bullied. Uh, now what to say. It is okay, they are just words. Wait we all know that it does not work that way. We all know that when something is repeatedly told you start believing it yourself. And they usually stand alone against an army of 2 or more. How can a parent help there telling about values, these children know better than any one how it works. And how is a parent going to stop the bullying online. All it takes is an anonymous account. And knowing the mail of the one being bullied.

Makes you wonder what we have been coming to, to allow these things. As if we have not learned anything from our own time in school. Watching bullies, being bullied or being the bully.

But school want parents to interact more and help. So can we help the bullies. Well yes we can if they are being taught the proper values. But how stupid do we look when we see rich kids who have it all bullying because their values are perfect and always pristine. Or the bullies that bully because they are bullied by parents themselves to be stronger, not so weak. How can we ask those parents to talk to their children. They either have no time or everything goes through a maid of some sort, or being drilled by an officer or higher-up of a company. Or maybe parents who are more of a lower class. Always having to fight to get what they want telling their children life is hard so you need to toughen up. If you cannot learn as well you need to fight and work harder.

These are of course two extremes, but it shows the difference in values the best. It is about teaching respect and ’Normal’ values, what ever normal may be, since we do not know what that is ourselves. But what parent should help what child. Or should parents come to school and take over a class about bullying, teaching respect and values.

We need to keep smiling and help those around.

But I know that a parent being an astronaut is better than having a parent who cleans sewers.
Somehow they always find something to bully about. Where have we gone wrong. Is the difference so big between people. Are we all living in our own little bubbles, unaware of everyone else’s situation and value of normal.
Should we not work together as ONE.

Now understand I do not have a degree in psychology or anything else. This is my thoughts on the situation, and I would love to hear from you as well. Did I get something wrong please tell me.
Speak up please, Are you a bully tell us why? Are you being bullied teach us how to understand more. If you watch jump in for a change and STOP it.

Best Wishes
Ranting Crow

Respect: lost and found!

So yesterday and a couple of days ago i came across it. The word ‘Respect’. Does it hold the same meaning as it done years ago.
Yesterday I said that respect isn’t earned but simply should be. With a reply that sometime it should be earned and sometimes should be. And that made me think. And it kept me busy as well. And the conclusion was that respect should be there from birth. Period. It simply should be. It doesn’t have to be earned, but you can loose it.

Now why say this, well that is simple. Showing respect at al times is something that should be because we are all humans. People like you and me. To often respect is associated with ‘power’ which casts a dark shadow across the word and its meaning ‘respect’.

Often enough it is said that respect is no where to be found around the teenagers. Well who’s fault is that? Yes the elders. And let me explain what the things were I thought up.

25 Years ago, approximately, My teen years one of the new music scenes was gangster rap who talked a lot about earning respect. Whilst I was told to always have respect for my elders, that is something I was brought up with and a an occasion slap did the trick. But still 25 years ago I seen a change of people thinking it should be earned or else you are nothing. You would be somebody without any power to say anything. It should have been parents then who should have taught our children differently. This has escalated to the point it still thought that respect should be earned. In order to be somebody. How ridiculous is that.

15 years ago those kids born 25 yeas ago still feel it is needed to be earned it has become some kind of commonality. But why does something like that make kids look around like they do not care much about others. The meaning of the word respect has been lost somewhere along the line. How can we make our mistakes from the good old days better again.

How come that children now-a-days and mind you I am looking really close by. Sort of lost even respect for their parents. To see my 2 year old spill a drink on the sofa and already walk towards the naughty spot before I even said a word. She knows she done wrong but she does not care. She knows where to go and what to say. Now I am failing as a parent?. But kids I baby sat 10 years ago do the same. Are we failing as parents. Have we not learned from the old days.

No I know that in the roaring twenties the mafia also thought hat same thing. Respect has to be earned, but how did they earn it. By making people scared. Fear instead of respect. Power over respect. But then the we only had newspapers and so not everybody would be confronted with those words. Unlike we have now with music and the new media.

Respect should be a common manner.

I think if have respect for those around us we do not have to burn a fuse. We can simply talk and respect each other views. We do not have to worry about a men walking up to you and shouting “What you looking at huh?” and have him walk away again with out an apology with out you even knowing what you done wrong. Respect is a way of living a manner that should simply be there from the start.

Now I said you can loose respect. So we all start as an equal. But when you disrespect someone’s property or body you do no deserve to be respected. Rights of being human still remain. But someone who steals robs, rapes, or kills a human has no respect for others and thus loose respect towards him. A simple plan.

No, respect should be taught from birth. Where did our manners go? Our pride to even have those manners to other humans around us. I vote, Yes. We need to repair the mistakes we made to make a better world. Respect should be common not earned. Do not ask for it just give it.

Best wishes
Ranting Crow

Phone Smart Age?

Welcome to the phone smart age. The age where all is done through phones.
But at what age do we start with a smartphone. What would be the appropriate age, is there even an appropriate age.
I believe it is said that 25% of the children under he age of 12 already have a smartphone. But why do they need a smart phone, if it is only for calling a parent if needed, when they do a little grocery shopping or have to come home from school because they are feeling ill.

Wouldn’t a dumb phone as those, old-only-can-call-and-text phones are called, be sufficient enough. And cheaper.
It s funny though how children age 10 are walking around with an expensive (read 600 dollars) phone. And parents are okay with that while complaining it is so hard during this crisis. Children get things done. And we parents supply them with items that help them not to get picked on to. But what age should we be starting to give them a smart phone. Give it to them because they want one, or they are bullied for not having one or even an old one.

Give them a smart phone because their friends has one. Isn’t that group pressure. Something the marketing is happy to use to sell phones to kids. You can call friends, chat and even take picture with friends. Where in my memory i was kicked out the house to go have fun with friends. They now sit down and text each other through what ever app there is available. Making friends is done by exchanging emails.  So how far do we let this go.

Well there are parents who are concerned. Who are afraid their child turns into a Whatsapp zombie. Laying on sofa using the app to talk to friends all day. There are parents who think about the bullies who now can have a distant and anonymously can bully all hey want. Some are concerned about the effects it has on brains. And i can with my own age say it helps you degrade a lot quicker. It strange to see how fast you forget a number now-a-days. or how you let a smartphone correct your input on your agenda. And how easy you start to leave the thinking to something else.

It is for that reason i do have my phoneless days. To realize a world far better then any phone could make it. One with interaction between people who have something to say. And time for a cup of coffee. What is way more then a tiny box on your ear can provide, it is an experience and a memory.

Best wishes
Ranting Crow

A bridge to far.

Abridge to far is what I called this post and I think it relates in some way.

The long misty bridge to Adulthood

It is about the bridge children have to cross in order to become adults. Yes we are talking about the time we are or were teenagers. The biggest gap we ever have or had to cross. A bridge to far.

I am past my teenager time and i was the so cold loner and yet I still had my followers. I was a guy who never wanted to be anything but me. I was good in sports but didn’t want to be a jock. My grades were all above average except for he foreign languages French, German. So a nerd no not really so I did not fit that box either. Now I liked wearing black clothing, listened to metal and was called weird for that as well. But no did not fit in hat box either. And around me gathered people who would fit in a box but wanted to be normal I guess and followed me around. Bullies you have on every school and i teased the people around me for having braces or walking around like a nerd. But we all did that in harmony because we wee able to talk as well. Now bullies tried to hurt me but i never gave in. Big mouths do not hurt and when it comes to fists, I had also two of them and got in trouble with them as well. So very early I hated the classification that teenagers do. And still do.  Getting along with every one is important.

So that is my past. And gives a small insight on my way of thinking. But why do we the adults make that bridge so long for those teenagers. I walked that bridge but it wasn’t easy. You feel you do not fit anywhere. So all you have are the people on that bridge. But some got influenced early and are smoking, drinking or even doing drugs. So all they have around them are people of and around the same age and will be influenced by them. And they have to cope with ordeals even we adults struggle with, but us adults can get help a lot easier. These teenagers are on their own, all because we want them to be adults. It is all to sudden for them.

In times where the group pressure is at its highest is the time we leave them alone. Or if they ask for help whimper them of with words like, ‘You are now old enough to make your own decision’. They are asking for help and that would be your answer, what kind of parent or adult are you. Would you say that to an adult of he same age as well no you would help that person. So why do we let them on their own dealing with problems like, sex, drugs smoking, drinking and relationships. If we adults have trouble with them with all our wisdom we collected through out the years, how do you think a teenager will do with no knowledge at all. Other ten what the Internet tells them thee present days. And the Internet is all about showing off your reputation or popularity. These things should not matter to someone, because it causes group pressure.

To much to cope with alone.

Pressure to be better, have a more sexy boy- or girlfriend. Everything is turned into a some kind of contest. Who dresses the best, who has the most expensive shoes, A better car or even the best sweet 16 party. That is one side of the coin, who is better. Yes some really should be knocked of their high horse.
Flipping the coin we come on th other side where if you want to have friends or so called friends you have to be in a group. Jock, bitches, goth, smokers, drinkers, girly girls. Group pressuring acts. And when a group says do it, you will if you want to belong in that group, it is a common fact. We should not have them worry about these insignificant things as groups or belonging. That means we need to stop treating them as adults, because they are not. Sure they have some knowledge but they need help crossing that bridge to adulthood, With that first step they are still children. And the road is long very long.

As for the bullying, it is beyond me. Everywhere you hear the line, “God created all men as equals” Now we can debate on what “men” means but for now it means all humans. So bullying should be treated as telling lies about the other One of the commandments if I am not mistaken.. And need to be addressed by the school and parents as such if you live in a community where that matters. If he community does not live by a bible it is still talking ill about people and should be addressed. We need to learn to have more respect for others, no matter what the color, sexual preference or believes. Parents should not walk away from that responsibility just because their kids turned 12 or even 16. They need guidance and help and for one and most definitely in the beginning it is the parents they trust the most. do not throw that away.

So parents unite and stand up. Take up your responsibility and make time for your children during the hardest time of their life. They are still and will always be your children, show them you care and will help them with their worries.

Best wishes
Ranting Crow

Wish to add something? Then please feel free to do so. Comment or reblog with your additions and thoughts. It is why blogs excist.