Monday Moaning: Dating Science

Date me please!

Monday Moaning Dating Science

These days we put ourselves out there, where there was a time we were only revealing things when asked, we now share everything to be noticed. Has out fear of being unnoticed grown or is it the fear of being rejected when people do not know everything about you.

Online dating is what uses this a lot if you ask me. We share our likes and dislikes just so we can eliminate any surprises. Pretending to have people know you before you even exchange a word. Now this is a very personal view and thought, but how real are we, or better, how honest re we on those lists. Do we truly put everything out there?

Now I am for one am staying away from online dating, once clicked and wanted to answer the list of questions. And it we can choose not to answer or lie. Let us face it, if they ever asked if you would have had an STD would you answer honestly.

If you say yes, it means you had been irresponsible or your partner simply lied or worse you are a cheater. And once a cheat always a cheat right?

Let us assume you answer truthfully. It means you throw yourself out there ins and outs. Making sure there is as little surprise for those who get to see your profile. One would think it is a god thing.

They can see your likes and dislikes compare themselves with you and either date or fold. Sounds so simple but in reality it might scare you of. The questions one answer are also the expectations, how you want your maybe future partner have to be. Tall, blond, smart and what not.

Have one noticed how long a list we make of our expectations. Of what we want our future partner to be like. And even better we also have a list of big No-No’s.

Online dating has become a science, or so they make us believe, but in the end it is through conversation we truly find out if one is made for each other. Not the list of questions, but the actual meet and talk reveals more about a person than a list can do.

In our country we have a science project going on, on TV. OOH yes we are doing it. Letting science decide who your bride or groom will be and all that through lists of questions and scientific tests as crazy as smelling a worn t-shirt.

Who is a better matchmaker, cupid or science? Talking about controversial right?

How open minded are we truly if we have all information? Can we honestly say we have no expectations when we write down a list of them?

Going in blind seems to scare most of the people of these days, and we use excuses like we do not have the time (time of slavery is long gone, get a life).

Maybe we just like to keep our options open, like men bragged about it in ancient times. Having more than one hooked so we can choose. Talking about being a player. And before you get angry, yeah I did to.

But okay how open minded are we?

When we read a big No-No on a list of our possible candidate, what would you do? Just one of those might have you decide, not to engage. Knowing something in advance can potentially send a fitting partner away to the deleted list. One who would be perfect for you in everything, maybe even willing to change a little for you? But we decided not to try based on information and begs to ask if we are open minded or becoming even more closed minded by throwing ourselves out there like that.

It is not strange to ask or think that we do get closed minded, and search for ways to ease our pains of being let down. That we shield ourselves by putting us and our information out there; with the thought of, if you know already you cannot hurt me with it. And if I know I would not make a mistake by dating you and get hurt.

Thinking that if we pay a monthly fee, the people using it are serious and not just players or worse. Paying for a service to be put up with a list of potentials who still do match up with you, who still have those big No-No’s.

I am pretty sure there are loads of people who may have ended up happy with each other. There are people who used it simply to get laid or just date without expectation.
But in the end the difference that is being made is that the conversation that follows decides all. But with who are you willing to engage that conversation if you knew he once had an STD. To use an extreme example.

We base our decisions on our likes and dislikes, and having to assume a list of questions is answered honestly. Ooh and not to mention about the spot the weirdo blogs or the bad apples. The bad apples read them to. Is it less dangerous than meeting someone for the first time in person?

Personally I do not think so. We still have the same risk of meeting an ask murderer who likes kitties and wears a ‘Hello Kitty PJ’ at night.

Well this is my brain going full swing again. Knowing why the bars are so empty in the weekend and the weekdays are full of people checking their phone all the time, claiming there is no time to date anymore. Dating Science it is a new concept.

Oh and about the TV show, They married a total stranger through the use of science and already show big fails.

Best Wishes
Ranting Crow

Dating out of sight!

Dating out of sight. Bit of fun with words. Dating out of site would have just been the other one and just as true. Since dating from a website has become so popular. On top of that you are doing it out of sight as well. Hiding in your own home alone or sneaky at work.

So Dating sites pop up like mushrooms in a damp forest. But why and how is it possible that people honestly use some of there selling points as facts or as excuses. Today I am going to go through some I seen on the Dutch television. Yes they even have commercials, must be a booming business. Now we got different kind of people and it get worst with the dating sites as they love labelling people.

Now I am not saying it is not working but how why do we use those corny or dumb excuses.

First up we have Lexa. A dating site how has a woman in a commercial. Sating she is happy using Lexa because she is to busy -and here it comes- with work. She can chat, use apps or computer to check her dates. Okay rewind a little. Do we really work so much we do not have time to get to know a person? I worked 12 hours a day slept for 6 used 3 to make dinner. That still left me with 3 hours a day to socialize. Have we become so accustomed to instant gratification we need an excuse like ‘to busy’.

Excuses you hear around you are like; But when a man pays for a dating site he means he wants a real girlfriend. And people believe that. It is like paying a monthly fee to fuck a one night stand. And no it is not just the men, women do it to. How can that even be considered a reason to pay for it. It is cheaper than seeing a prostitute. I gladly pay a fee of around €10 a month even 20 for that kind way to find friends with benefits.

Now we do have more like Pepper or Be2 and e-matching.

And Parship like e-maching. Yes ladies and gentlemen this is one who is good at labelling. For here you can only find and only become a paying member if you are one of the high educated people. A site made for smart people or maybe it is just another word for the rich. Here you can find a girl or guy who has a good paying job and his diplomas of high education to proof it. They to must be way to busy working they need a dating site to.

Now if you think we are done you are wrong. The latest addition is Bi-dating (to new for me to remember, so might have the  name wrong). Well you guessed it. It is for the bi-sexual amongst you. or Hotero’s as I like to call them. Because where else could a woman –and this is on television again- find a female sex partner. How is that for labelling ladies. It seems they use the women the most when it comes to being a Hotero. It is okay to be Bi, is pretty much their message. Not sure since I do not get on there but the gay community might have a go there to. And surely we would have hoped it stayed with this. But no. The Dutch have an even worse commercial.

Last but not the least freaky dating site is, Secondlove. Oh yes your ears will turn red first after hearing there commercial. Followed by anger if you have any values. Because they advertise with the fact it is okay to cheat. Yes, what is wrong with having a second lover to the side. You guessed it. What is wrong with swinging or infidelity. And no I am not making this up. It is a true commercial. Where they promote to have a lover on the side because we live in modern times.

Now I am most surprised about the good looking models on there. they must have had a long list of demands they could not find a date in real life. They are picky for they look good but are still single. That does blow me away to be honest. For why are they still single. just on of my episodes i guess.

So those are a few of the dating sites to which I am astonished about what values they use to advertise. To what I can only conclude that our so called values have been diminishing, degrading or simply put killed by our and upcoming generation. We have failed our self if this is how we look at life. We work our asses of, make dates over phones selected by some science project so we can date highly educated people or just use it to cheat. Telling ourselves that we do not have time to get to know a person. Wanting to have the doorbell ring and our match presented on a platter. So we have more time reading messages they leave on our phones or pc and have them try to woo us off our feet. While in the comfort of our own home, ALONE.

Best wishes
Ranting Crow