Monday Moaning: Christmas Mug
Mug; pottery, a face, a fool or idiot.
I have finally recuperated from the three days of cooking for Christmas. Sure It is my own mistake maybe to do so much in so little time. But the fact is that I do like to cook. And sure it is three days of preparing making sure it is all in order and than there is the small thing I never know what the result will be. Most dishes are never tried before. Yes sleepless nights are very common due to the nerves rushing through me, asking if it will all work out.
Neither of us wants to be a disappointment to our family or friends. And why do I do all this work during this time, while I pretty much dislike or almost hate Christmas.
Yes you did hear me alright.
Reason are many and though it is a time to be jolly and have fun the truth behind Christmas is buried behind a shit load of glitter glamour and shiny shit. Maybe saying truth is not right either but we turned it into something it shouldn’t be.
This feeling comes from having been brought up with very little and having it all at some point and losing it just as easy. I walk on mountains and laid in the down pour in valleys.
And here I am cooking within that façade we have created.
Enjoying the fact I can be with family. The smiles and joys of the children running around a Christmas tree. I will admit I love that just as much as the next person. There is however always a bad taste. And no it wasn’t my food this time. (thank god it all worked out).
No! The thing I am getting at is the façade we create. The masks we all put on to deceive and hide our true feelings.
Back to all those glitter and shine.
The competition and I am sure some all know already what that means. And though we like to deny it the truth is there. It is where it might start the first layer. The house and the amount of light or how well it is decorated. The brighter the more festive and the more jolly we are. Or so we like to make people think. Look at us we are doing fantastic.
Than there is the spending time and money on dresses and suits or clothes. Little girls like angels boys look a bit tough and cool. Mums trying to become the best dressed.
Better than you or me. It is a competition and just another layer draped over our heart.
We all try so hard, spend hundreds of dollars on food and maybe even throw half away. Are we not all perfect and doing so fucking well. I knew I was in that kitchen working on a hundred dollar piece of meat. Fuck yeah. But it is a façade an illusion.
How far do we go during this time to pretend and fake or way through the days. How much good does it do us. Can it make up for all the mistakes we made the entire year. Smile a fake smile to a family member whose blood you can drink. Being nice to that bitch of a sister in law or that ass grabbing uncle.
Look at us being happy. Sure in January we need to sit down and do some calculating on how to pay the god dam bill. But today during Christmas I am the fuckin man.
So what does Christmas mean to you.
Ask a kid and the answer is presents.
The more expensive the better. Ooh the list surely consists of Xboxes, PlayStation to iPhones and IPads. Fuck the socks or sweaters. Will they be happy with less. Maybe when they already have it all. But surely you recognize yourself as well in there. Even me at age of 40 knows what I am talking about, Though in my time it was a sega or nintendo. (age 10, damn I am getting old)
During that time I could want all I wanted, It just wasn’t a thing my parents could buy me.
We hide behind all this glamour. If the kids are happy so am I. Sure times are changing and children won’t be happy with less if we keep making them so happy and give them all. If we can’t pay what then? Ka-ching we do whatever the fuck to please them. And us because we are good parents.
Sorry in this time of joy and presents we should all have a smile and laugh. And luckily I do so.
Call it whatever you want and maybe you are right that it was just to slam my chest to say look how good I am. That to is all fake, or is it?
Knowing full well where I have been I may put my bills in danger, but I like to think it is for a good cause. Even though it is but a drop hot a siring hot plate.
Christmas cooking, three damned days of preparations, sleepless nights but also having a day of genuine smiles.
A dinner for those who would have sat alone during the days. A family with very little money. I gave (sounds cocky right) them a dinner, a day to forget their sorrow, or so I hope.
Thing is there are enough people who have very little and do whatever they can to make it a celebration.
Genuine gratitude for little things. A sweater because the old one is a little torn. Sure they wished for a tablet but it is all okay. A turkey size chicken to celebrate around a 2 feet high tree.
I seen it, I been there and at the same time I see people pretend, throw away money only to gain status or for a show to perform for their family and friends. I been part of it and even this year again I pretended to like Christmas.
Put on a mask to show a smile while in my heart I cried, watching the few who didn’t have it all. Seeing people suffer while we pretend to be the bomb.
Christmas has lost its meaning and not talking about its religious meaning if that were true to begin with.
Being there for one and another not just family or friends but everyone. Was it not a day to unite like a thanksgiving, though as an outsider I might not be sure about that one either.
We are so gungho about sharing. But it isn’t just a like on facebook or a retweet on twitter. Sharing isn’t sending an Sn-appy of turkey the size of an elephant that lays on your table.
I may talk big and dream bigger but isn’t it about sharing that little something we have to offer. A warm heart a caring soul. Instead of spending bucket loads on food and presents could we spend less and share a little with those who can’t do the same.
Christmas or however we spend these days, shouldn’t it be real and truly meant from the bottom of a heart.
Pretentious as I have been wouldn’t it be great to change. Did I suck up to those needy, did I do it to boost my ego. Maybe. Was it to make me feel good about myself. Sure. Was I wrong and do I regret it. No because it was the best dinner I had.
Food and good honest conversations not the I am better look at me shit. I felt little, I cried seeing what true happiness is like.
Christmas has lost its meaning or is just lost behind layers of fakery. And I admit I to am a fake. We all pretend to be someone we are not during these days.
And I truly hope you had a great time and hope you will continue this feeling instead of going back to your usual self. And you know what I mean.
PS ON a side note I fucked up the Christmas story. I made a mistake somewhere and the last part wasn’t published. I seen it on The second day of Christmas or Boxingday. However you may call it. But I was to tired to do anything. Now that I am doing and feeling better I will have it up soon. So stay tuned fr some belated Christmas magic.