Monday Moaning: Life’s Leftover!
Life’s leftover, but what do we do with it. Every day is being eaten away and we have no Idea how many days we have left or minutes for that matter. So how do we spend our final days. This is pretty much just a rant that might be a little confusing and all over the place. after finally regaining some balance and able to think something, instead of having a knitting pen poking my ear all the time.
These are questions we all struggle with once in a while. I sure can remember being a teenager and have an entire life ahead of me and thinking about what to with life. It was having expectations some unreal as they came to you through media and movies. Influenced by magazines and the adults around you. There is also the expectations laid on your tiny shoulders, bearing a weight that is sometimes to heavy to carry.
And than it doesn’t go as you please, or want. Expectations fall apart and we can’t live up to the others that are not our own. Doubting who we are and if we will ever make it. I been there more than once but I held high my own expectations. Mind you I had to do it alone. I was praised for achieving beyond expectations. That to became my downfall as doing it alone, is impossible. And shortly after due to life’s involvements I crumbled.
Though what to do next. It is okay to have expectations of your own, it is good to have a goal in life and try to achieve that. It is okay to fail as long as one is wiling to try again and maybe set a bar a little lower, but still out of reach even just a little. Expectations from others are to much of a weight but a force that can get you down.
As we grow older we change. Life after all is a lesson in which we learn more about ourselves than others. Or so I think it should be. That said, each and everyone in our life however will influence ours without letting us know. Without telling, creating challenges we need to overcome. Being flexible and staying calm. Easier said than done.
The leftover days slowly become shoved to the back of our mind. Parties, work and friends take up time. Now more than ever with all the new gadgets and internet. Almost every free minute we’re checking and typing on our screens, leaving very little for real encounters.
But that is not the point of this post. It is about what we do with the rest of our life, how does one spend it?
So as a teen I experienced a lot of negativity and it is strange how that remains when you are less educated or have no diploma. Always wore black the people that hung around me were the stereotypical nerd, braces glasses and pimpled. The wannabe tough guy, who I beat up once. A follower who was witness of that moment. And the occasional girl because it was fun. Friends none. Everyday spend in a corner of the school yard until I got to work.
In bars drinking having a good time and betting everything in having it all. Remember the magazines? I had the top notch gadgets and equipment. A butcher does pay well. At least in those days. Though filling your life with items did nothing for me as I got older. Changed jobs, worked weekends and ungodly hours. Sometimes up to hundred hours a week. I had nothing to come home to, nobody there and I wasted it even more working.
Life’s leftover, half of it gone. No roof, no money. I fight and learn every day.
But I am learning. Did I mention I love learning new things. Everyday these day have become a challenge and teaching me something new about me.
Bet if you read al this one might think something in the line of, what keeps him so positive. What is his drive.
That isn’t easy to explain.
My life is my own and I live it for me and in order to get the best out of it one needs to understand me. Leftovers are shared with you, they are not mine to keep. Once you understand or as I see it. That my life is insignificant compared to everything around me. I am nothing in the sight of a blossoming flower. Such delicacy is able to survive a whole day if we admire it’s beauty. I can spend my leftover day destroying taking and keeping. But is that how we should be.
A leftover day spend in anger, filled with hatred, what does that give us at the end of that day. A dead flower, angry faces and tears full of pain. Not just for my surroundings as I to influence their life. They change mine to. At least I try not to let them effect my way of thinking my path I chose to walk the rest of the leftover days.
If only it was that simple right?
Surely it is. Stop being angry is one. If one is frustrated it does still mean they care. And want to succeed within one’s OWN expectation.
Lecturing Crow might have been a better name for me. LOL.
No, I mean we are to focussed on life of others. It is how they succeeded and we want to copy. It is abut how we push our expectations on that of a new generation, because we failed. We destroy out of jealousy. And if we ca all see that we are wrong killing why do we not start doing the opposite.
We are all different to begin with. Expectations are made based on history’s finest examples. And it is okay we want to be better than our ancestors but do we need to go so far as to let others pay for it. I mean how many people do we need to trample to get there.
And once you reached your destination did you notice all the beauty along the way. And how much of it is the same as having it all.
Isn’t it just consuming life instead of living life. Taking everything for your own.
So what will one do with their leftovers? What is important in life? Having it all or sharing it all together. Seeing everyone smile.
There will always bee people who struggle to keep up but there is now reason to leave them behind.
My life is nothing other than a struggle but I receive a smile a day by giving that day away. Everyday is new, never like the one before as one learns a new lesson. Gave away a part of your day and receive a smile. Tomorrow I will do it all over again. I do not need much other than that kind of beauty.
A fluttering butterfly a smile, the joy of a child splashing in puddles during the rain. The joy of life is to give and live it everyday anew. One fresh breath and taking on a challenge and end up knowing you spend the day the best way possible. And do it all over again.
I hope we can stop killing and hurting. Share the days that are left with smiles. Helping up instead of putting down. I know I am done fighting though not done defending my believes that change as I learn more. No more looking down on others. Accept a life as is given no need to change theirs unless they do it themselves. Stop changing mine when I am happy living.
Live life, don’t consume it.
How do you spend your leftover life? Let me know or set me straight. I listen who knows you might teach me something I will take with me in life.
Ranting Crow 