So the weekend is over and I spend it writing. Saturday I started writing about a journey I took, one of following my heart. So a true story that I am writing in a fictional way, called Heart Ship!.
Yesterday was very two sided, on one hand I had the Sunday’s Beauty on here which is a erotic/sensual/maybe become hardcore story while on my other page I wrote some fan fiction based on a anime I have watched multiple times now.
So that is just a couple of sides of me. Like a diamond we all have our facets and I have loads I think, since my brain never stops. I cannot relax the mind unless I start writing and even then it is working but with just one thing. There is one side I do not want to show and I think nobody does. Our dark side, the evil in us.
Now you can say you don’t have that but I believe we all have it somewhere but rather deny it than face it. I faced mine more then once and I chose to have peace with it. Accepted my anger, sadness and even murderess thoughts or even suicide. They are who I am. After all they also made me who I am today. Though I try to keep the monster at bay and well hidden, locked up it sometimes still shows itself. It is understanding yourself if you are able to forgive yourself. The hardest thing to do if you ask me. But doing so you can learn from it. Change yourself not to go there anymore. But it takes understanding and forgiveness.
I cannot leave my anger on a corner, I rather take it with me so I do not have to hurt someone and lay m anger to rest by accepting and then expressing it in a gentleman’s way.
This have learned a hard way. Learning to cope with me and my brain, my heart and soul. To find a balance that only I can create and live by.
So how well do we know ourselves. Can we accept all our facets of this rough diamond we all are. Can we polish them to make it one perfect balance and shining diamond. I do not hide anything not even anger, or sadness. I do not fear shedding a tear in public if I am moved. The only down side is that I show my truth and it might hurt others. But I have to over come ever aspect that is me and the only way is to deal with it instead of leaving it behind.
It sound like a rambling of a confused mind, but it all makes sense to me. This storm in my head, the heart I carry along is all part of me. Maybe change the name to Quirky Crow.